You Have a Seat at the Table. What Will You Do With It?

Oct 5

5 min read

A few weeks ago in Vancouver, I had the opportunity to facilitate a conversation at MPI’s theEVENT around a question that has stayed with me long after the session ended:

You have a seat at the table. What will you do with it?

It sounds like a simple question...

But as I prepared for the conversation, I kept coming back to three pieces of research that made me think differently about membership, engagement and, most importantly, the role each of us plays in creating a sense of belonging.

What that number means to me

Personally, I believe it.

When I look back at my own career, I can trace many opportunities to the professional communities I joined and, more importantly, the people I met within them.

Someone opened a door. Someone made an introduction. Someone shared knowledge.Someone said my name when I wasn't in the room.Someone invited me to a table where I might not have otherwise found myself.

Those moments helped shape my career.

Professional associations can create access to education, mentorship, leadership, relationships and experiences. But being given a seat doesn't automatically mean we receive the value of sitting there.

We still have to do something with it.

But are we filling our plate?

This is an analogy I often use when talking about membership.

An association can put an incredible buffet of opportunities in front of us — education, relationships, mentorship, leadership, volunteer experiences and connections.

But no one else can fill our plate for us.

It is easy to leave an experience saying, “I didn't get anything out of it.” But before we do, perhaps we should ask ourselves:

Did I introduce myself? Did I participate? Did I ask a question? Did I follow up with someone I met? Did I offer something of myself, too?

Some of the greatest value I have received from professional communities has never appeared on a list of “member benefits.”

It came from participating. It came from relationships. And often, it came from simply showing up more than once.

But showing up is only one side of belonging.

What about the person who showed up once, and never came back?

What if you were the reason they came back?

Think about the last conference, networking event or industry gathering you attended.

Most of us naturally gravitate toward familiar faces. We find our friends, catch up with colleagues and sit beside the people we already know.

But somewhere in that same room may be someone attending for the very first time standing alone, unsure where to sit, and quietly wondering whether they belong.

What if welcoming them wasn't only the association's responsibility?

What if it was ours, too?

Walk over. Introduce yourself. Invite them into the conversation.

Sometimes three simple words can change someone's entire experience:

“Come sit with us.”

What feels like a small gesture to you may be the reason someone feels they belong — and the reason they come back.

You don't have to be the loudest voice at the table.

This is something I have learned personally.

I am an introvert, and I often describe myself as a Quiet Connector.

For a long time, I thought leadership belonged to people who could command the room, speak first or make themselves the most visible.

I don't believe that anymore.

Leadership can also look like listening. Connecting people. Asking a thoughtful question. Noticing who is missing. Saying someone's name when they aren't in the room.

Taking your seat isn't about changing who you are to belong at someone else's table. It is about understanding what you uniquely bring when you get there.

Who are you making room for?

This is where the meaning of A Seat at the Table has evolved for me.

At one point in my career, getting invited to the table felt like success.

Then I learned that having the seat wasn't enough. I had to participate.

Today, I think there is another stage.

Once you have found your seat, built relationships and benefited from the opportunities around that table:

What are you doing with that access?

Maybe you mentor someone. Make an introduction. Recommend someone for an opportunity. Share what you've learned. Say someone's name in a room they haven't entered yet.

Or simply notice someone standing on the outside and pull out another chair.

What HER Seat at the Table means to me

This thinking is also shaping how I continue to build HER Seat at the Table.

I don't want success to be measured simply by how many people join. I want it to be measured by the relationships we build, what we contribute to one another, and the opportunities we help create.

Instead of only asking:

What do I receive from my membership?

I want us to also ask:

What can I contribute because I am a member?

And eventually:

Whose seat can I help create?

That is part of why I am exploring more intentional Pay It Forward opportunities — giving established leaders and organizations a way to help create access for an Emerging Voice who may not otherwise have the opportunity to participate.

Because access matters.

But what we do with our access matters even more.

Your seat will change.

Not every seat we occupy is meant to be permanent.

Throughout our careers, sometimes we will be learning. Sometimes leading. Sometimes challenging an idea. Sometimes listening.

And eventually, there may be a table where our greatest contribution is recognizing that it is time to make room for someone else.

Leadership isn't measured by how tightly we hold onto our chair.

Perhaps it can also be measured by what we leave behind when we stand up.

Did we contribute something meaningful?Did we help someone feel they belonged? Did we create an opportunity that didn't exist before? Did we leave another chair pulled out for whoever comes next?

You have a seat. What will you do with it?

We spend so much of our careers trying to earn a seat at the table.

I certainly have.

But perhaps there comes a point when we need to stop asking whether we deserve to be there and start asking what we will do now that we are.

Will you participate? Will you contribute? Will you connect? Will you open a door?

And the next time you walk into a room and see someone looking for their place:

Will you pull out the chair beside you?

Research referenced

Higher Logic — 2025 Association Member Experience ReportSurvey of 440 current association members and 112 nonmembers.

Marketing General — Membership Marketing Benchmarking ReportResearch on membership engagement and non-renewal.

McKenna, Elizabeth — “Many Show Up, Few Return: Leadership and Retention in Civic Associations.” Harvard Kennedy School Faculty Research Working Paper Series, RWP26-009, August 2026. Study of 38,740 people participating in 20 civic organizations across 11 U.S. states.